I'm so sorry M and Florida.

It is an awful thing to feel so isolated and alone.  It feels like the pain will never end.  It breaks my heart to know you woke up crying M, it really does.

The massage sounds wonderful.  I'm not working, so I can't afford one, but I am very, very happy for you that you were comforted.  Honestly, when I am able to afford it, I shall do the same.  In the meantime, I'm glad to know you found some relief.

Florida, I wasn't sure what would happen when I posted my true feelings on this forum.  Would people think I was a nut?  Would they think I was needy, whiny or dramatic?
I'm glad I took the chance and was honest about my emotional state.  Otherwise, I would not have met others like yourselves, so courageous, so kind.

People don't want to talk about "those feelings."  There is such a taboo, as though, somehow we are supposed to carry on years on end in pain and discomfort, slap on a smile and say "everything's okay"  Everything isn't okay, but it's bearable now.  And I thank you all for that.

And M, Florida, aperry, Chiguy, Nose1 and others... if/when you do feel this way, contact me on the forum or privately.  I know the despair that comes with this horrible syndrome and I know how difficult it is for others to understand.

Thank you all so much.  You are amazing individuals.

<3