going out in the cold air is so damn depressing. although jogging did help me take my mind off things. I felt like I was observing myself from a telescope. I kept staring at all the people in the grocery store. Everyone just kept going about their lives. everyone oblivious to my suffering. I remember looking at people's noses and feeling jealous. I can so vivdly recall what it was like to have a health nose. I feel as if I didn't get to live my life.